I Apologize if I Stare....

I remember being very overweight and NOT wanting to walk into a crowded room.  Not wanting anyone to look at me and see how uncomfortable I was in my own skin.  Not wanting them to look at me and judge me for how big I was. Not wanting them to see me struggle to walk across the room and to see how difficult it was to catch my breath.  All I wanted was to blend into the crowd but how could I when I stood out SO much?

They Stared.

Fast forward 10 years to present day.  Now I am the person staring....

I can not help it.  I stare when I see a heavy person approaching.  I watch them struggle to cross the room as they try to catch their breath.  I watch their faces and know how uncomfortable they feel.  I watch as they try to blend in.  And I watch the others that stare at them.  I join the others that stare but I am not one of them....

I stare because I understand.  I stare at my old self, I know who you are, I know your struggles, I am your sister.  I stare because I can not walk over and give them a hug.  I stare because I want them to stare back and see there is hope.