I am not able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and I am not as powerful as a locomotive but I do have a few things in common with Superman. For instance, when Superman comes in contact with kryptonite he becomes vulnerable and loses all of his powers. Chocolate is my kryptonite! Another thing I have in common with Superman? I have been known to be as fast as a speeding bullet. Don’t believe me? Think I am crazy? OK, I will give you an example.
One of the most dreaded times in an overweight individuals life is the “public pool.” If you are overweight, you probably already know what I am talking about but let me elaborate for my skinnier audience out there. It usually starts out when a friend or family member suggests to go to the public pool. This person is usually a skinnier person that has no idea how MISERABLE going to the public pool can be for an overweight person. But reluctantly we accept the challenge because the only alternative is having to explain why we don’t like public pools and then having the argument “Oh, don’t worry about what others think…you look fine,” Then we would have to explain how its not what others think but how we feel out there with our fat flapping and jiggle jiggling.
I arrive at the pool and it is just the scene you imagined in your head. Girls in bikinis laying out getting a tan. Buff looking men with their six pack abs flaunting about and me in my tightly wrapped towel… holding on to it for dear life.
Then the moment comes when I have to get into the pool, I can not delay it any further. There is just so many time I can reorganize the pool bag while I wave to the family from the sidelines. This is when the super power kicks in…. just like Superman I become faster than a speeding bullet. Oh yes, before the towel hits the chair… I am IN the pool!
See? Super powers.
My next super power I would not limit to just overweight people. I figure, even if I was a skinny mini, I would still have this super power because I. Love. Food. It is the power I labeled “Spidey Sense.” Just like spiderman can react quickly to danger with his spidey senses, I can react to food in such a way. Example, something is cooking in the microwave at work. The smell starts to waft down the hall and immediately I can recognize the scent!