Weight Loss

Screw You Fat Shamers: Losing Weight, I Don’t Have The Answers

I am sick of it, sick of all those Fat Shamers out there.  First it was people hating on Kelly Clarkson’s weight and now Pink??  Haven’t you heard, people?!  Megan Trainor brought booty back!  A plus size model made it into the last Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition!  We are NOT going to hide behind our baggy clothes anymore.  We are not going to allow you to hate on us.  We are not going to be ashamed of our bodies!  Screw you I say, SCREW YOU!

I come here and talk regularly about my struggles with weight, my successes and failures in weight loss and the journey I have been on for the past 12 years.  It’s easy to do so.  I can pour out my heart to a computer screen and it does not judge me.  People aren’t so forgiving as my screen.

Today I was reminded just how unforgiving people are.

I can not tell you how many times I have received an email asking for help in losing weight.  While my heart wants to reach out and comfort those struggling, I don’t have the answers.  I too fight the battle with the bulge on a daily basis.  Some days I am winning, some days I fall behind, some days I get knocked completely on my butt.  Lately, I have been knocked down.  Yes, I’ve gained.  My “larger” clothes have become tight.  I look in the mirror with disappointment.  I just want to eat chocolate.  But no, I have to pick myself up.  I know where this road leads.

This week I started back on that healthy journey.  I am determined to get back into some of those cute clothes hanging in my closet.  I was feeling good.  I was motivated.  And then I was knocked down, again.

As I walked to the office to have one of my healthy snacks for the day, a janitor comments in passing “It looks like you are putting on some weight.”  Knocked down.  I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide.  I was ashamed.  Ashamed that I have gained so much that others are noticing.  I wanted to walk straight pass the fridge which held my yogurt, to the vending machine to eat some chocolate.  Actually, I didn’t want to eat anything for awhile; I was sick to my stomach.  I was given an unfriendly reminder of what life was like for me years ago, when I was severely obese.  I was also given a reminder of how many cruel people are out there.  The Fat Shamers.

Screw you, Dude, you don’t know me.

Then I became angry.  Is that really what is so important for you to comment on?!  I was walking down the hall in my lab coat and that is how you strike up a conversation?!  You don’t ask me about the 5 Scientific papers I was published in just last year or how my experiments are going today?  What about my hobbies?  You know, that blog I play around with?  Why not ask me about the red carpet event I attended last March for the Cinderella movie?!  No, you want to comment on my weight because THAT is what is important?!

I am on a weight loss journey but that seems to run in parallel with the ignore the A-Holes journey.  I have to constantly remind myself, there is nothing wrong with ME.  I know that gaining some weight makes me feel bad and is frustrating but I am still that awesome person, no matter how much weight I carry.  I should not feel ashamed for the rude comments of another, THEY are the ones with the problem.

Judge me.  Judge every pound of me but at the end of the day, I will be the one to go out of my way to put a smile on someones face.  I would rather be remembered as the fat one that made someones day, then the rude one that brought someone down.

You see people, I don’t have the answers.  I deal with the battle of the bulge on a daily basis.  I too STILL deal with this harsh world of judgement.  I can’t make people stop with their hurtful comments and turn them into ones of support.  All I can do is, get back up.  Keep moving forward.  Stay on my path to health.  Because the world is not going to change.  People are not going to change.

But I can.

About the author


Mom of two yougin's, on a mission to beat the battle of the bulge. Love to travel, cook, eat chocolate, binge watch movies, celebrity scout, ride rollercoasters & annoy my kids. Contact me: guideformoms@yahoo.com


  • A few years ago I was on the exact opposite end from you – I was struggling to gain weight. I got so sick of people telling me "you are losing so much weight, you look amazing" – I was angry, I at one point weight 95 lbs and at my height that was so extremely unhealthy. Luckily my doctors and I figured out the issue but when people think you look good at an extremely low weight, to me it shows that we have this unreal idea of what beautiful looks like – I actually wore baggy clothing and covered mirrors because I could not handle it. We are all beautiful and NEVER let anyone tell you different.

  • You look AMAZING. I am on the daily struggle as well. I was feeling good, and somehow the weight crept back up. I am on a mission to lose it and to be healthy. I know the weight range I want to be in. I want to feel good about myself.

    Honestly weight doesn't have a lot to do with how you feel. If you feel great, that's what matters. If we all could, we would be size 5 to 8 and be in the ideal range and never worry about it.

  • I literally can't even comprehend what possesses people to say the things they do–like, when is it EVER okay to make a comment like that?! It's been said so many times by so many people, but obesity really is the last form of acceptable discrimination. I'm sorry you had to deal with that jerk, and kudos for not letting him drag you down.

    P.S. I've been reading, but never commented before. So hi!

  • Thanks for stopping by Christina and hi! 🙂 Also, agreed! We are so "politically correct" in this world but when it comes to the weight issue… it's "OK" to say something because they are just concerned about our "health."

  • I've been heavy all my life, my back paid the price. I had gastric bypass in 2003 and kept an extra 200 pounds off for over 10 years… I weighed 350 pounds. Recent major surgery left me unable to do anything but eat and play on the computer. I've gained 45 pounds in 3 months. I'm so weak, it's like I'm a different person. My size never mattered before, because I felt good, other than my back. Now, I have NO energy. I'm shaming myself.

  • I've gained weight over the last two years and it seems that everyone has something to say about it. I'm on my journey for me but it is stressful to have people weigh in on your looks. You do you, eff them haters and keep on keeping on!

  • Thanks for sharing Sharon, but no, size 5-8 isn’t everyone’s ideal. I feel beautifully powerful at a 12. Modeling for years, I learned that the “colonial view” of beauty is what put Melanie Martinez on the charts. Our girls think a stick frame is ideal; not so. If women were supposed to be shaped like men, we wouldn’t have natural “humps”. Thank you, Fergie. I’m 6’2, 220, and a 30 lb weight loss might qualify me for the 50+ poster child, I am complimented daily because I exude gratitude. Mandi, your story on Everyday Health inspired me. I salute you, brave one. Eat well, exercise, seek wisdom = balance. Really muzzling myself about what to say to haters. Keepin’ it clean, trying to serve Jesus here. : )