I am sick of it, sick of all those Fat Shamers out there. First it was people hating on Kelly Clarkson’s weight and now Pink?? Haven’t you heard, people?! Megan Trainor brought booty back! A plus size model made it into the last Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition! We are NOT going to hide behind our baggy clothes anymore. We are not going to allow you to hate on us. We are not going to be ashamed of our bodies! Screw you I say, SCREW YOU!
I come here and talk regularly about my struggles with weight, my successes and failures in weight loss and the journey I have been on for the past 12 years. It’s easy to do so. I can pour out my heart to a computer screen and it does not judge me. People aren’t so forgiving as my screen.
Today I was reminded just how unforgiving people are.
I can not tell you how many times I have received an email asking for help in losing weight. While my heart wants to reach out and comfort those struggling, I don’t have the answers. I too fight the battle with the bulge on a daily basis. Some days I am winning, some days I fall behind, some days I get knocked completely on my butt. Lately, I have been knocked down. Yes, I’ve gained. My “larger” clothes have become tight. I look in the mirror with disappointment. I just want to eat chocolate. But no, I have to pick myself up. I know where this road leads.
This week I started back on that healthy journey. I am determined to get back into some of those cute clothes hanging in my closet. I was feeling good. I was motivated. And then I was knocked down, again.
As I walked to the office to have one of my healthy snacks for the day, a janitor comments in passing “It looks like you are putting on some weight.” Knocked down. I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. I was ashamed. Ashamed that I have gained so much that others are noticing. I wanted to walk straight pass the fridge which held my yogurt, to the vending machine to eat some chocolate. Actually, I didn’t want to eat anything for awhile; I was sick to my stomach. I was given an unfriendly reminder of what life was like for me years ago, when I was severely obese. I was also given a reminder of how many cruel people are out there. The Fat Shamers.
Screw you, Dude, you don’t know me.
Then I became angry. Is that really what is so important for you to comment on?! I was walking down the hall in my lab coat and that is how you strike up a conversation?! You don’t ask me about the 5 Scientific papers I was published in just last year or how my experiments are going today? What about my hobbies? You know, that blog I play around with? Why not ask me about the red carpet event I attended last March for the Cinderella movie?! No, you want to comment on my weight because THAT is what is important?!
I am on a weight loss journey but that seems to run in parallel with the ignore the A-Holes journey. I have to constantly remind myself, there is nothing wrong with ME. I know that gaining some weight makes me feel bad and is frustrating but I am still that awesome person, no matter how much weight I carry. I should not feel ashamed for the rude comments of another, THEY are the ones with the problem.
Judge me. Judge every pound of me but at the end of the day, I will be the one to go out of my way to put a smile on someones face. I would rather be remembered as the fat one that made someones day, then the rude one that brought someone down.
You see people, I don’t have the answers. I deal with the battle of the bulge on a daily basis. I too STILL deal with this harsh world of judgement. I can’t make people stop with their hurtful comments and turn them into ones of support. All I can do is, get back up. Keep moving forward. Stay on my path to health. Because the world is not going to change. People are not going to change.
But I can.