Skip to Content

75+ Hilarious AppleTV+ LOOT Quotes

AppleTV+ Loot Quotes

AppleTV+ Loot drops its first few episodes on the streaming service this Friday, June 24th. I will have a review of the series coming soon, so make sure to stop back by to check it out. It will be linked down below. In the meantime, I wanted to share a list of some of the best quotes from the show. Check out these 75+ of the best and most hilarious AppleTV+ Loot quotes.

If you enjoyed these AppleTV+ Loot quotes, check out these other articles: Disney+ Rise movie quotes, The Black Phone movie quotes, The Umbrella Academy season 3 quotes, Elvis movie quotes, Jerry & Marge Go Large quotes, The Summer I Turned Pretty quotes.

AppleTV+ Loot Parents Guide Review

AppleTV+ Loot Quotes

Can we turn the sun down like 20%? Get rid of the dolphins too, way too cute.

On a scale of aging Jennifers, you went from Aniston to Lopez.

Whatever you want, consider it done-zo.

Remember, back at the beginning, we used to do everything together.

Shut up, Seal.

I had sex with you when you had your weird body, before you fixed it with money.

Money alone can’t buy you happiness.

You always hear about stuff like this happening, you never think it’s gonna happen to you.

You are like the most well-known, cheated-on woman on the planet.

I just want to let you know, Black Twitter has your back.

Our reputation here is really important to me, especially when lives are at stake.

I gave ten thousand dollars to Green Peace. That should even it out right?

I’m very liberal. I follow The Squad on Facebook.

AppleTV+ Loot Quotes

People are going to follow me whereever I’m going, so I figured I’d use it to help you guys out.

For me, home is where my wine fridge is.

If you are crazy, we’re here for you.

This whole room smells like clean white women.

You have this hole inside of you and you’re trying to fill it.

You can’t just pack us up and move us around like we’re luggage.

Such a girl boss move.

The Dark Knight of Charity.

I’m extremely strong, but I weigh barely nothing.

He doesn’t get to say that about me.

Is there a movie version of this stuff that I can watch?

The world is in a much much worse place than I thought it was and that’s a bummer. But I’m still pumped for these interviews.

I get it; we’re just work friends. I’ll go ahead and delete your number then.

If this is the guy I sold my PS5 to, the controllers were like that when I bought it.

If I just say the word “beignets,” will some show up?

He’s an a**h*le but he’s definitely not dumb.

I’m gonna need you to do me a favor. I’m gonna need you to shut the f*ck up.

You gotta stop saying you will kill everyone and get away with it.

He’s no better than you, and if we are doing this together, you gotta get him out of your head.

That is some truly sick rich people sh*t.

‘Jazzed up’, is that a Gen Z slang I’m not familiar with?

It is not a lunch box, it is a weather resistant cooler.

I was like, this guy is way too handsome to not be onscreen, or at least lead a cult.

Look at us, two new besties.

People love a celebrity but they love to tear them down even more.

It’s our national duty to stay here and be miserable.

It feels like I’m on the avatar planet right now.

I’m always afraid I’m gonna die before the Fast and the Furious saga ends.

I’ve been slammed up the butt lately.

What do you think dating is, dude? It’s all about being dishonest.

He’s like the Lebron James of number crunching.

I can’t believe that’s a hot baby all grown up.

He’s jealous of all the good press you’re getting. He showed up to throw you off your game.

That is some real First Wive’s Club level stuff.

This lobster is stupid good. I’m not even chewing, it’s just melting.

AppleTV+ Loot

I thought you could use the win.

When I say Dave, you say Busters.

Did you say something about a long tongue?

I think he caused me to start ovulating.

If he takes you, do not resist. Use your sense of smell to figure out what city you’re in and get a message out: “we will find you.”

One of the reasons I’m so hot is because I’m emotionally unavailable to everyone.

You know what they say in hiking? Wear layers, be prepared for anything.

Even in France, I’m very French.

Are you single white femaling me right now?

It’s actually very difficult to eat a crepe like this. But getting to eat a snack like you is well worth it.

They called Taylor Swift a snake too, and it only made her stronger.

You be my baby Yoda, and I’ll be your Mandalorian.

She’s just throwing her money around to buy us off, like she always does.

Money can’t buy everything, Molly.

As a child of divorce, I do not like surprises.

Why don’t you tear down one of those mansions and build the housing there.

I also think Mrs. Wells is disgusting and these are the reasons why.

That doesn’t mean I deserve to be called Scrooge McF*ckface.

There is more than one way to be good.

You’re my boss, mom, my American Girl doll all wrapped in one.

If we are being problematic, you should probably get your geography right.

I am so uncomfortable right now.

Stop talking in Billie Ellish lyrics and just tell us what’s happening.

You two definitely have some kind of old people vibe going on. I’ve seen it.

The money is the problem. Look at this sh*t, it makes people crazy. It makes them think they are geniuses that tell everyone how to live.

Billionaires shouldn’t exist. I shouldn’t exist.

And I challenge other ridiculously wealthy people to do the same. Otherwise, it isn’t philanthropy, it’s PR bullsh*t.

Guide For Geek Moms