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75+ Hilarious Netflix’s OLD DADS Movie Quotes

Netflix's Old Dads Movie Quotes

Netflix’s Old Dads releases on the streaming service tomorrow, October 19, 2023. I will have a review of the movie coming soon, so make sure to stop back by to check it out. It will be linked below. In the meantime, I wanted to share a list of some of the best quotes from the movie. Check out these 75+ of the best and most hilarious Netflix’s Old Dads movie quotes.

If you enjoyed Netflix’s Old Dads movie quotes, check out these other articles: Pain Hustlers movie quotes, Five Nights at Freddy’s movie quotes, Amazon Prime Video Gen V quotes, AppleTV+ Lessons in Chemistry quotes, The Fall of the House of Usher quotes.

Netflix’s Old Dads Movie Quotes

Netflix’s Old Dads Movie Quotes

This is the best part of my day, every day.

I’m not going to whine about it, that’s what vegans do.

Give me the stick.

That’s not so bad. Just rub some dirt on it, buddy.

Are you a doctor, or are you just one of those WebMd guys?

I’m trying to raise a man here, not a f*cking p*&&y.

What you’re feeling now is what you’re feeling.

All she wants to do is f*ck me and go to the gym.
G-d d*mn, Mike, you found a f*cking unicorn.

He’s fleek. Fleekity, fleek.

He looks like he’s in a musical about janitors.

The trifecta behind Trifecta.

We are living in an exponential era.

This company is now a gender-neutral, carbon-neutral, 21st century lifestyle apparel brand. And the first step in that is to liberate everyone born before 1988.

Success does not care about the way that you feel. I want them to come in here with a smile on their face, but I need them to have Kevlar in their souls.

Is that a threat?
No, that’s just transparent leadership.

How f*cking self involved are you?

I’m paying you to educate my son, not me.

I read the g-d d*mn guide book, you stumpy little c*nt. Daddy, what’s a c*nt?

Here we go, always with the f*cking therapy.

I’m sorry that six of you heard this and told the other forty.

Netflix's Old Dads Movie Quotes

Look at it this way: You’ve got really strong sperm. You should be proud.

That’s like some Braveheart-level jizz.

I don’t know what kind of Botox sh*t you’re on, but it’s gonna kill ya.

I don’t believe in that; that’s some white sh*t.

Nobody has a heart attack when they go to the gym.

I find it so apropo that you brought the plant version of yourself.

I think I’m beginning to see how this school works.

Are we reliving your childhood or having a party?

Maybe not turn it into a tranny bar?
You cannot say that.
What am I supposed to say?
Well, I was close.

Check your privilege.

It just gets more depressing every day.

The fame bubble is big, my friends, and it’s about to burst. You can already see the cracks.

He is the Lebron James of not being famous.

The oval orifice.

I just think this misogynistic behavior among a group of men is a little cliche.
Christ, we have a feminist in the car.

You feel that your generation is more evolved than our generation?

The highway provides.

You ain’t a bunch of f*gs, are you?

Maybe if you would occasionally eat that pudding, you wouldn’t sweat your t*ts off.

Caitlyn has t*ts and a d*ck, and is that why you say “they”?

Guess these old dogs have a little more bite than you thought.

You don’t have to know what’s going on to be what’s going on.

Having the foresight to see that any party theme decided upon by a predominantly white committee would be inherently biased… Well, your growth really makes my heart smile.

Who knew throwing a party celebrating white people not hurting anyone would actually be a big hit?

It’s not child labor if it’s for a good cause, am I right?

I saw a lot of Teslas out there in the parking lot. Just because your car’s quiet, doesn’t mean you have to be.

I don’t fault you for the way you are. You’re just blinded by a lifetime of privilege.

I don’t mean to pull rank here, but this is my hotel.

Netflix's Old Dads Movie Quotes

I don’t respond to hyperbole.

Oh, that made some room.

I’m just going to register to vote.

Let’s go set this neon town on fire!

If I’m going to lose money, I’d rather do it at a Native American casino.
Yeah, Monatary justice!

Did you know Native Americans take offense to the phrase “spirit animal”?

Suspended indefinitely, actually.
I think that’s millenial for fired.

I think when it comes to guys, there just aren’t a lot of layers.

Your mother’s in Palm Desert, you p*&&y.

I’m not going back; this is me now. Hella Mike!

Don’t ever count another man’s drinks.

Go dodge the draft, a**h*le.

TikTok live mother f*ckers. Documenting your use of excessive force on these poor, defenseless dads.

So you’re going to shut the f*ck up, sit up here in the front seat, and stop being such a f*cking Mary.
That’s good enough for me. Let’s go.

Every blonde hair with a dream has to come all the way down here, suck d*ck to host a f*cking game show.

I messed up.
It’s okay; rub some dirt on it.

You’re really lucky we make beautiful babies.

Would an occassional bl*w j*b f*cking kill you?
No cap.