AppleTV The After Party is dropping its first few episodes on Friday, January 28th. I will have a review of the series coming soon, so make sure to stop back by to check it out. It will be linked down below. In the meantime, I wanted to share a list of some of the best quotes from the show. Check out these 85+ of the best AppleTV The After Party quotes.
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AppleTV The Afterparty Parents Guide Review
AppleTV The After Party Quotes
Captain wants answers by the morning on this celebrity’s death.
Not how could it be a suicide if he’s laying on the hat?
You rich people love to ski.
There’s some messy white folks, I’ll tell you that much.
Get the cornstarch. The plot thickens.
Pay attention, Culp. We’re solving a murder.
Should be ashamed of yourself wearing heels pregnant. It’s bad for your back.
You’re not in high school anymore. Now you’re the handsome rich guy.
We’re all just withering sacks of flesh.
Here’s to reconnecting old covalent bonds.
Why wear a suit if you’re not going to wear a shirt?
If anyone touches her, I’m gonna kill him.
Sometimes you need to let people make their own decisions.
It felt like it was raining, emotionally.
He wasn’t worthy of her.
It’s okay, daddy, I don’t need my koala. I could just hug a towel.
You admitted to everything that would lead you to be the murderer, except the murder.
She thinks I did it. She’s never going to find the real killer.
I was preserving my family.
I’m at least a threat level seven.
Nice try, kiddo. But no one pees like me.
Now I know I seem like a chiseled, rock-hard, tough guy. But when it comes to my family, even I get choked up.
I’ll watch out for your mom tonight. Make sure she’s happy.
You have my word, and my word is my bond. And it’s the only thing I got that is worth a d*mn.
Either I go through you, or you go through me.
You got skills, but you ain’t got a skillet.
You’re a bad person. You steal from children.
Nice hat by the way, did Sam Jackson have a yard sale?
It’s about to be done, dog.
I wanted to control everyone, but in the end, the one I couldn’t control was myself.
That hat sucks.
I thought if I could just hold on, I could keep you from moving on.
If I’m gonna clear my name, I need some hard evidence.
Just let the police do their thing. Okay, AV guy?
I’m going to craft a meanly worded tweet.
Not so A-dork-able anymore, huh?
I got like forty thousand participation trophies at home.
You interrupted my sacred meditation for diarrhea?
Everyone comes to a high school reunion for a reason.
I came to get revenge.
See? Now you think I’m insane. I knew this would happen.
You accidentally nailed the husband?
I know the feeling, faking it for everyone. being some imaginary version of himself.
Was I the hunter or the hunted?
You’re gonna poop. You’re a party pooper.
Did you see her hair? It looks like she made out with a tornado.
For my plan to work, I needed Xavier alone. I need him to trust me.
I don’t want any of your mental poison, pyramid milkshakes.
For making my life the pile of sh*t it is right now.
Eat my a**.
I was the fool they were all laughing at.
What a weird and specific question.
I was surprised he didn’t work in construction because it was like he was trying to destroy a sidewalk.
I never wanted to kill him, and I didn’t
That St. Patrick’s Day party was a big night for all of us.
I just want to celebrate St. Patrick and get the S the messed up on some d*mn a** booze.
You think Berkley gives a fart about Latin homework?
Big money can buy you many things, but coolness isn’t one of them.
Now that you mention it, lying down seems pretty tight.
Take it slow. Those are big bubbles, make them tiny.
You shut your lying Monica Lewinsky mouth.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed. Brett’s eating your girl’s face in there.
Are you dancing or fighting?
Not you, Barry Bonds. You’re coming with us.
It makes sense, you kill someone and birth another one in.
I’m just dramatizing my inner conflict.
Respect the process, bro.
It’s my night, and we are not gonna have some pleasant conversation with a safe guy tonight.
I’m gonna go drink because I’m not pregnant and I can do whatever I want.
Just like prom night, we are making our own fun.
Sexy rockstar ismaking eyes at us.
He’s so method.
Making mistakes always forces you to learn new moves.
I want people to look at it and be like “wow, that baby takes care of its body.”
I’ve been eating a lot of wax-inducing foods.
We don’t need them to have fun, we just need each other.
You snitched. There goes your memorabilia.
Call me a waiter, ’cause I’m about to put it all on the table.
I believe this belongs in your earhole.
People depend on us, and I don’t want to let them down.
Looks white to me.
Arizone. It’s like the Florida of the west.
That’s a good get, Danner.
Do black women tie their hair up at night?
You know why I call you Mad Dog? Because you need to be put down.
This night was so much fun!
Stop saying that or I will kill you.
You are nobody. You’re a loser.
Your entire f*cking career belongs to me.
You trying to play me like I’m dumb.