Netflix’s Murderville drops on the streaming service tomorrow, February 3rd. I have a review of the series linked down below, make sure to check it out! In the meantime, I wanted to share a list of some of the best quotes from the show. Check out these 45+ of the best and most hilarious Netflix’s Murderville quotes.
If you enjoyed these Murderville quotes, check out these other articles: Death on the Nile movie quotes, Book of Love movie quotes, HULU Pam & Tommy quotes, Raising Dion season 2 quotes, Home Team movie quotes, The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild quotes, The Woman in the House Across the Street From the Girl in the Window quotes.
The big city, where only the strong survive and the ruthless thrive.
Did I just turn seven years old? Because you hired a g-d d*mn clown.
This ginger monstrosity is the biggest mistake in the history of city homicide.
City homicide isn’t for precious little man-boys who are afraid to get their lips dirty and their pants wet.
I can get these lips as dirty as you want them to be. Just covered in all kinds of stuff.
Classic Humpty Dumpty.
It was time for Conan to take off his training diaper and start pooping his pants like a big boy.
That’s what grown-ups call a lie.
Welcome to Quirky Jack’s Homestyle Eatery. Where we serve heaping portions of whimsy and medium-sized portions of food.
You are gonna love the sloppy jalapen-joes. You have never had a wetter sandwich. It’s unbelievable.
That’s very aggressive on your part.
You’re not slopping the Joe.
If I find out you had anything to do with it, I swear to God I will peel off your skin, eat it and then sh*t it out and use that excrement as fertilizer to grow a tree from which I will one day hang you from.
They’re very available. Everyone has plain tortillas.
I only murdered her because I wanted her dead.
As long as the sun rises, as long as I walk this Earth, as long as I draw breath, I will avenge you.
I look like a guy given three days to live, and this is day 5.
You look like a guy that was kicked out of a sex cult, and then they let him back in, and they kicked him out again.
You can’t sue someone and claim it’s your property just because I built it on your property.
Here in the big city, when the sun goes down, the freaks come out. And I was ready to get my freak on.
Why are you dressed up anyway? You going to one of those weird night funerals?
Why don’t you pop a seat here?
I’m not just strong in the body. I’m also brain strong, and that’s a technical term.
This partner is never gonna go cookoo for cocoa puffs with you.
There was no time for chit chat. We had a dead body to stare at, and walk around.
Study hall was for losers who wanted to have secure jobs and successful lives.
The number one thing you always do is check the mouth for murder notes.
No fatties except summers and weekends.
This is very junior, with a super ugly walk and a weird signature sound.
You’re Terry Farnter. He used to faint and fart at the same time. It was hilarious and also really sad.
Touch boob. And remember, as a champion disc golfer, I have really strong wrists.
Another day of solving murders and dropping hints to my ex-wife that I want her back. Or as we like to call it in the murder business, Thursday.
FYI, that donut was a metaphor for you. So, he just ripped you in half.
My partner, Annie Murphy, not senior, as in, not as important.
Maybe you never heard of me cause you got dog poop inside your head instead of brains.
Hope whoever discovers them is in the mood for dessert, cause they’re going to find a couple of cop-sicles.
On the menu that evening was chicken catch a killer.
Life is all about self improvement. If you’re not getting better, you are getting dead-er.
I have been hand selected for a very lucrative business opportunity. Selling a revolutionary health shake: Science Living Ultimate Dietary Gold, a.k.a. SLUDG.
Not a scam. All I got to do to make my investment back is make $10,000 in sales, recruit ten people to work under me, and do each one of those things 10 times.
You’re about to learn two careers. Let’s go Sharon Stone, if that’s even your real name.
Sharon, whose side are you on? Are you on my side? Or are you on the side of science?
That scared me. I almost drew my firearm. G-d d*mmit, I forgot my firearm once again.
There’s an ancient saying: Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation, there is sure to be failure. I always remember that quote because of how stupid it is.
Preparation is for losers. Dumb luck is where it’s at.
I already got myself a partner. It’s called “my gun.”
I like the cut of your jib, Ken Jeong.
In the future, you can look like whoever you want. And you wanted to look like a middle-aged Korean-American doctor.