Hulu’s Candy dropped its first episode on the streaming service today, May 9th. I will have a review of the series coming soon, so make sure to stop back by to check it out. It will be linked down below. In the meantime, I wanted to share a list of some of the best quotes from the show. Check out this collection of the best Hulu’s Candy quotes.
If you enjoyed these Hulu’s Candy quotes, check out these other articles: Senior Year movie quotes, Netflix’s Our Father quotes, Made For Love season 2 quotes, Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness quotes, Undone season 2 quotes, AppleTV+ Shining Girls quotes.
Hulu’s CANDY Quotes
There once was a little tree growing in the forest. And this tree wanted so badly to grow up and be the best tree it could be, so it did everything good little trees have always done. It drank water through its roots, and it grew.
One day, a woodcutter came along, and he said, “Well, I’m gonna cut you down.”
Anytime anyone looks up towards me, they are gonna think of heaven.
That woodcutter just chopped that tree right down. And that tree was so sad. But then it was cut into beams and made into a cross. Jesus’ cross. And now anytime anyone looks at that tree, they think of God.
I know you hate it when I have to leave.
I should’ve suspected when you stole my heart.
I really don’t think she has any fun unless she’s with us.
The one thing I do know is, I don’t want a feminine touch.
Next time when you’re feeling sad because you didn’t get what you want, you just wait ’cause God has something even better for you.
I can never tell if she loves children too much or not at all.
You can’t be perfect all the time.
We’re living the dream.
What’s so wrong with old things? People thought they were beautiful at one point.
I should go over there. Do you want me to go over there?
I need you to get into that house, Richard. I don’t care how you do it.
We don’t even own a gun.
Everything’s gonna be alright.
The actions of one affect us all.
We’ve got so much love to give in this family.
You wanna teach children to be louder?
St. Betty of perpetual distress.
It was weird. And then it was sexy. And then it was a lot of fun.
Where am I gonna get my sexy stories from now?
Betty, you gotta get a hold of yourself. I can’t handle another person in this house who doesn’t want to be here.
He just sits here, mouth breathing on the couch. I mean, don’t I deserve more than that?
You must think I’m a monster.
I find you attractive, and well, I’d like to have an affair.
I grabbed the axe.
Now what did I say about calling the house?
Well, I have news. I have taken a lover.
I think he might have the most beautiful penis I have ever seen.
We’re gonna help you fall in love with your spouse all over again.
You’re over-working your meat. First rule of grilling. You only want to flip them once.
You found out about her affair and you bought her a card and flowers?
So they half a**ed the clean up, left the murder weapon behind, and took the time to take a shower?
I just want to let you know I love you and I will take care of you no matter what.
She did it.
An ax is a weapon of opportunity, not planning.
An offensive like this, it don’t happen without passion.